As important as it is to listen to others, we also need to listen to ourselves. Often, odd words are at odds with our feelings, and this in itself can be a cause of conflict.
The Dialogue in our Minds
So, this is less about how we express ourselves externally and more about the dialogue happening in our minds. I think it’s quite common for us to feel one way but to talk about it differently in our minds. Very often, the mind is trying to come up with a solution and explanation. Occasionally, it may veer toward judgment or blame, as the mind attempts to rationalize the feeling. While this can sometimes be helpful, it often leads to conflict between the body and the mind.
The Reality of Emotional Conflict
For example, we might be in a situation where we feel very anxious, and the physical manifestations of anxiety are clear. The breathing is short; the heart is palpitating. Yet, in the mind, we may be saying, “No, no, no, I don’t feel anxious. I feel confident. I do feel good.”
And so, immediately, there’s conflict. There is the reality of how we feel, and then there’s a mind trying to talk its way out of that feeling. Funnily enough, this conflict tends to compound whatever emotion is present at that time.
The Power of Meditation
Meditation often teaches us that letting go of the thinking and being fully present with the feeling will lead to a better outcome.
At first, this might be a scary idea. We might think we’ll be overwhelmed by the feeling. But actually, it tends to reduce the feeling. As we move toward it, we don’t give it any more fuel. We stop fanning the flames and are simply present with the sensation. There’s a quiet, gentle confidence in sitting or standing with that sensation.
Suppressing Emotions: A Slippery Slope
However, the depth of the feeling we’re invited to stay with can diminish over time, depending on how long we’ve denied, suppressed, or neglected these emotions.
The more we do this—suppress and neglect our emotions—the more desensitized we become. Coping mechanisms like anti-depressants, alcohol, and overeating can exacerbate this issue. We may even come to a point where it feels normal to live this way. Yet, inevitably, a crack will appear, leading to physical or mental illness at some stage.
A Learnable Skill: Tuning Into Our Bodies
But what if tuning into our emotions and bodies is a skill that can be cultivated? What if the process isn’t as intimidating as it seems, and we can learn it in manageable, bite-sized steps?
The Role of Biodanza
This is precisely the objective of Biodanza. It aims to foster affectivity—our ability to deal with “affects,” or the mental, physical, and emotional repercussions of past experiences. Whether that past was an hour, a week, or many years ago, its impact is stored in our bodies and will manifest again.
In Biodanza, we facilitate this process through music and carefully curated exercises—often dances—in the presence of others. These exercises provoke a biological response of joy and vitality, leading to a life that feels more rewarding and meaningful.